You Can’t Pull Me Down

Have you ever been misunderstood? Ostracized? Lied about? Villainized? If you have, you know it’s one of the most sobering feelings a human being can experience. While assessing and knowing your heart's motives to be true and good, you are marginalized and mischaracterized by others…most painfully by those closest to you. Though you seek goodness and truth, you are labeled as “Wicked,” cast aside as a villain, an object for others to unite around and rally against. 

When the movie Wicked came to theaters, I was hesitant to see it (didn’t look like my kind of movie). But being the good husband I am, I took an afternoon with my wife to see it. The movie (an adaptation of the famous Broadway musical) tells the story of two famous characters from The Wizard of Oz: Glinda “the Good” and Elphaba “the Wicked Witch of the West”. Though there are many themes to unpack in this movie, I want to focus on Elphaba. From the beginning of the movie, Elphaba pretends not to care what anyone thinks of her. Born with green skin, she puts out an “I don’t care what you think” attitude. She’s standoffish. She has a “chip on her shoulder”. She was never socially accepted, and she seems not to care. Yet, beneath her tough exterior, Elphaba craved social acceptance and love. At one point, she sings: 

“And I'll stand there with the Wizard

Feeling things I've never felt

And though I'd never show it

I'd be so happy I could melt

And so it will be for the rest of my life

And I'll want nothing else 'til I die

Held in such high esteem

When people see me, they will scream

For half of Oz's favorite team

The Wizard and I”

Near the end of the movie, Elphaba makes it to the Emerald City and is offered everything she has ever wanted by the Wizard himself. Acceptance, admiration, popularity, reverence, power - It was all hers for the taking! Everything she’d worked and waited for was in her grasp; yet in that same moment all her dreams were about to come true, she discovers a truth she cannot dismiss. Though her friend Glinda urges her to look past it, say she’s sorry, fall in line, and claim everything she had ever wanted, Elphaba simply cannot. Something had changed within her. She was no longer the same.

In that moment, Elphaba discovers a sobering reality - The “love” they have for you comes at a cost. When the rubber meets the road, you’ll find out that the “love” they claimed to have for you had more conditions than the warranty plan on your car. When you make decisions they don’t like or approve of, when you decide to go down a path that makes life harder for them, when you start saying things that make them feel uncomfortable, when you force them to face truths they would much rather sweep under the rug and ignore, when you won’t say sorry and fall in line, when it’s no longer “popular” or beneficial for them to be your friend - the “love” you believed they’d always have for you is inevitably lost…

And if their “love” for you can be so easily lost, is it really love at all? 

“Too long, I've been afraid of

Losing love, I guess I've lost

Well, if that's love

It comes at much too high a cost

I'd sooner buy defying gravity”

If their love “costs” you, that cost is far too high. Because in the end, earning (and keeping) their love and acceptance will cost you dearly. It will cost you your convictions. It will cost you the confidence to look yourself in the mirror, knowing you did what was right. It will cost you to remain true to yourself. It will cost you in your relationships with other people who do love you without cost, who trust you, rely on you, and count on you. But ultimately, earning their love will cost you…you. And that is far too high a cost. “I’d sooner buy defying gravity.”

Wicked (Part One) ends with Elphaba flying away from those who she thought loved her, knowing her life would never be the same. She refused to fall in line, and so she is rejected, proclaimed as a troublemaker, labeled as evil, “Wicked”. As I watched her flying away, I was moved to tears as the camera zoomed in on her face. I had seen that face before reflected in my own. It was a face full of brute determination, yet filled with the sadness of rejection. It was a face full of resolve to move forward, yet filled with the reality that nothing would ever be the same. It was a face full of peace, yet filled with the burden of what was to come.  

For those who know what it’s like to fly away, knowing you’ve been misunderstood, ostracized, and villainized, you know how simultaneously beautiful and painful those moments are. Because even though those moments are beyond difficult, it is in those moments when our face meets the face of Another. His face, too, was full of brute determination, yet filled with the sadness of rejection; full of the resolve to move forward, yet filled with the reality nothing would ever be the same; full of peace, yet filled with the burden of what was to come. As we fly away, dealing with the scorn, hurt, and rejection of others, we meet another social reject, a troublemaker, labeled as evil, ”Wicked”:

“He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not (Isaiah 53:3).”

Life tends to look a lot like the Emerald City. Those with the most influence, admiration, and acceptance are those on the “inside”. You know, the ones who fall in line, who “say what you’re supposed to say”, who live by the “status quo,” who never challenge but always keep the peace. They’re obsessed with earning the acceptance, love, and approval of the revered who live there. They will stop at nothing to keep their perfect “Emerald City” neat and tidy, because they think this pristine, put-together pantheon is the place to be. But it’s not. Because Jesus, the man of sorrows, doesn’t reside in the “Emerald City” we are so adamant to create and protect: 

“He was crucified outside the city gates—that is where he poured out the sacrificial blood that was brought to God’s altar to cleanse his people. So let’s go outside, where Jesus is, where the action is—not trying to be privileged insiders, but taking our share in the abuse of Jesus. This “insider world” is not our home. We have our eyes peeled for the City about to come. Let’s take our place outside with Jesus (Hebrews 12:12-15).”

It's not easy to leave the safety and prestige of the clean and tidy Emerald City. It’s even harder flying away, knowing they’ll declare you to be “Wicked.” But I’d have it no other way. And neither would Jesus…

“I’d sooner buy defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye, I’m defying gravity

And you can’t pull me down”